Afraid of job interviews?
Don't be so egocentric!
Published on by Gernot Sauerborn
The night before an interview, your stomach knots up. You lie awake rehearsing answers to questions you hope they won't ask. "What are your weaknesses?" "Explain this gap in your CV." "Why should we hire you?"
Your mind races through every possible trap, every knowledge gap, every surprise they could throw at you. The more you think about yourself — your flaws, your fears, your performance — the larger the anxiety grows. But there's an uncomfortable truth:
Your fear is not humility – it's a form of hidden egocentrism. And that's great news, because you can shift it.
Let me explain.
The Self‑Centered Spiral
Most candidates enter the interview room with their attention locked on one person: themselves. Will I sound competent? Do I look nervous? What if I don't know the answer? The entire inner movie is about "me, myself, and I."
That's completely natural — but it's also completely unhelpful. Because an interview is not a solo audition. It is a social interaction between two human beings. And you have never tried a simple, very powerful shift:
Changing the chair: Walk around the table. Sit down on the other side.
What the Interviewer Actually Wants
Now ask yourself honestly from that new seat:
- When is my workday a genuinely good, successful day?
Is it when I humiliate a nervous candidate? No. It's when I find someone who makes my team stronger, my workload lighter, my projects better. Or when I can finish on time and feel I've done a fair job. - What will I actively do to make this day pleasant?
I'll prepare a few solid questions. I'll leave space for real conversation. I'll try to be professional but not cruel — because I don't enjoy awkward silences either. - With what mindset will I start the day?
Honestly? I hope the candidates are likeable. I hope they make my job easy. I hope I don't have to drag answers out of someone. I want to leave this room thinking, "That was a good use of my time."
The interviewer is not a hunter waiting for you to fail. The interviewer is a tired (often slightly bored) professional who wants their day to go well. And a "well" day means finding a decent human being they can work with.
The Beautiful Paradox
Once you truly understand this, your fear loses its power. Because you realise:
- They are not focused on your gaps. They are focused on their own need for a solution.
- They don't want to surprise you. They want you to feel comfortable enough to show your real self.
- They are not scoring every stammer. They are listening for: "Can I work with this person five days a week?"
In other words: Stop making the interview all about you. Make it about the shared goal — finding out if there is a mutual fit.
But knowing this isn't enough, is it? Your stomach still clenches. Your mind still goes blank. Because a perspective shift is not a one‑click solution. It's a skill. And skills need practice, structure, and sometimes a guide.
Moving on With Systemic Solution Oriented Coaching
Systemic solution‑focused coaching is uniquely suited for this kind of shift because it doesn't dwell on why the fear exists. Instead, it works with what is already functioning — and builds from there.
In practice, we do three things:
- Chair swap rehearsals: You will literally embody the interviewer's perspective until it becomes natural. You will feel how little they care about your perfect wording — and how much they care about your authentic energy.
- Solution‑focused questioning: Instead of "What if I fail?" we ask "What would a good‑enough interview look like from both sides?" Instead of "How do I hide my weakness?" we ask "What small signal tells the interviewer that I'm a safe, cooperative person to hire?"
- Turning fear into curiosity: Anxiety is just energy with nowhere to go. We redirect that energy toward genuine interest in the other person. You will walk in thinking: "I wonder what their day has been like. I wonder what they truly need." That shift alone changes everything.
This is not about performing better in the eyes of others. It is about recognising that an interview is not an exam — it's a conversation between two people who both want the same thing: a good day at work. If you are ready to stop being the centre of your own story and start connecting, let's work together.
Register here to be informed when I publish a new article. Only new posts on job application and interview confidence. No spam.
My insights are grounded in my daily work with international professionals and executives navigating the job market and workplace culture in German-speaking countries. As an experienced manager, management consultant, systemic coach, and business-oriented German language teacher, I combine a practical understanding of business expectations with a deep appreciation of the challenges of working across cultures. Having lived and worked internationally, I understand how to make professional experience, individual strengths, and personal identity visible in a new professional environment.
I offer a free chemistry call to personally connect, share how I work with clients, and see if my coaching approach aligns with your goals.
It's the perfect opportunity to decide if we're a good match for your interview preparation.